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Of
course it's up to you, your family and your clergy to decide how to proceed
on you wedding day but here are some customary procedures that are followed
by the majority of brides.
Two
hours before the ceremony
You
should begin dressing with your mother and your bridesmaid in assistance.
One
hour before the ceremony
The
bridesmaids - all fully dressed - gather with their flowers and pose for
pictures. This allows you time to make sure everyone is properly dressed
and ready to be transported to the ceremony in a group.
Forty-five to sixty minutes
before the ceremony
The
ushers arrive at the ceremony site and put on their boutonnieres. They
gather near the entrance to await the arrival of the first guests.
Thirty minutes before the
ceremony
The
organist begins the introductory music while the ushers escort guests to
their seats. Your friends and relatives are seated on the left side of
the church, your groom is on the right.
At
this time, the groom and his best man arrive. This is when the clergyman
checks the marriage license, receives his fee from the best man and issues
last minute instruction he may find necessary.
Ten
minutes before the ceremony
Your
Maid of Honor, bridesmaids, and other attendants arrive at the church,
followed by your mother, the groom's parents and other members of both
families. The bridal party and the parents wait in the vestibule while
the other relatives are seated.
Five
minutes before the ceremony
The
mother of the groom is escorted to her seat in the first pew on the right
side of the aisle. The father of the groom follows a few feet behind the
usher escorting his wife, then takes his seat beside her. You and your
father arrive in a chauffeured limousine about this time or stand inside
at a back entrance of another room where your guests won't see you. Your
mother is escorted to her seat in the front pew. If guests are still waiting
at this time, however, they should be seated first. The bride's mother
is always the last person seated by an usher. As she starts down the aisle,
you and your father join the waiting members of the wedding party.
Just
before the ceremony
Two
ushers walk in step to the front of the aisle to lay the aisle ribbons
and canvas. The ribbons, used only at very formal weddings, remind guests
to stay in their places until the parents and other relatives have been
escorted out. At this time, the guests should all have been seated and
the candles lit. The ushers can now pull out the runner if there is one.
Care must be taken that the runner be secure if one is used and not impair
or in any way cause the bridal party the chance of slipping.
The Procession
Everything
is now set for the procession.
In
Protestant services, the congregation stands as soon as the wedding march
begins, the clergyman enters and takes his place at the front of the church.
The groom and best man follow him to a position just in front of the first,
right-hand pew, and all turn to watch the procession, The ushers enter
from the back of the church in pairs according to height, followed by the
bridesmaids. If there is an odd usher or bridesmaid, the smallest attendant
leads off first. The maid or matron of honor comes next, followed by the
ring bearer, if there is one, and the flower girl. The pages, if any, follow
the bride, carrying her train. Catholic brides and grooms may follow the
same procedure. Jewish processions vary according to local tradition, whether
Orthodox, Conservative, or Reform and according to the preference of the
families.
In
the simplest Reform service, the ushers lead the procession in pairs, followed
by the bridesmaids in pairs. The groom comes down the aisle next, with
his best man followed by the maid of honor, the flower girl, if there is
one, and the bride on her father's right. The groom's parents and the bride's
mother may join in the procession and remain standing under the chupa or
canopy during the service. An elaborate procession may be led by the rabbi
and cantor, followed by the couples' grandparents, the ushers, the bridesmaids,
the best man, the groom and his parents, the bride's honor attendants,
her flower girl(s), and the bride with her parents. Ask your rabbi how
he prefers to organize the procession, and take into account the amount
of space available for the wedding party to stand in.
Altar Procedures
When
the bridal party gets to the first rows of seats they can form one of two
alternate arrangements.
1.
The ushers all turn right to form a diagonal line behind the groom and
best man. The bridesmaids do the same thing on the left side.
2.
Each pair of attendants separates going to each side placing a groomsman
and bridesmaid beside each other. Children
may stand through the ceremony or be seated in the second or third row.In the
Protestant service, when you reach the altar where your groom is waiting
you leave your father's arm and take one step forward. The groom steps
forward and stands to your right. Your father remains standing behind you
until the minister asks, "Who gives this woman to be married?" The bride
is given away because in early times she was looked on almost as chattel.
Her parents arranged her marriage, and she was literally given to the groom.
Today, the father walks his daughter to the altar and give her in marriage
as a sign of his approval of the union.
In
most ceremonies, the father returns to his seat by your mother as soon
as he gives you away. In the Jewish ceremony, all the parents may remain
standing throughout.
If
you are required to kneel or climb steps during the ceremony, your groom
usually takes your arm and helps you up and down. When the ceremony is
over and the clergyman has congratulated you, your face veil (if you have
one) is lifted by your groom. The traditional kiss may follow, or you may
simply turn to face your guests. The maid of honor puts your bouquet in
your right hand and can arrange your train in preparation for the recessional.
The Recessional
When
the organist begins the recessional music, you'll take the groom s right
arm and proceed up the aisle together. Your attendants will follow
you.
As
soon as you reach the back of the church, if wedding pictures will be taken,
you and the wedding party should walk around to the door where there is
a place you and the whole wedding party can wait until all the guests have
left the church. Meet at the altar for portraits of the wedding party.
A good professional photographer will take no longer than 30 minutes.
The Receiving Line
If
the receiving line is formed at the back of the church or stairway, the
pictures are taken immediately after the guests go through the line. If
the reception is somewhere other than the church, it is advisable to do
your pictures before you leave the church while your party goes on to the
reception where the receiving line will be formed. Many brides prefer not
to have a receiving line and prefer to go around meeting their relatives
and friends during the reception.
Special Variations
If
your father has died, you may ask any relative or friend to act as your
escort. Sometimes the mother or groom walk the bride down the aisle.
If
your parents are divorced, your father can still give you away. He does
not need to sit with your mother.
If
the church has two center aisles, it's customary to use the left aisle
for the procession, and the right aisle for the recessional. However, in
most cases, the bride uses the aisle most convenient.
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