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Many weddings nowadays are funded entirely by the bride and groom
who will obviously have the final say in all matters. However, as your
wedding is special to your loved ones too, they may consider it an
honour to have particular duties before and during your special day.
Here we give guidelines of the traditional roles played by members of
the bridal party. For the modern wedding they can be shared or entirely
interchangeable.
The Bride
- Chooses wedding date, type of ceremony, the theme of the wedding
and her outfit
- Chooses her attendants and their outfits
- Co-ordinates and advises other members of the bridal party on
dress codes, colours, etc.
- Throws her bouquet amongst the unmarried female guests
- Writes thank-you notes to helpers and for wedding gifts
- Buys a wedding present for the groom
The Groom
- Works out the budget
- Buys the wedding rings
- Arranges the outfits of the male members of the bridal party
- Arranges the honeymoon and the wedding night accommodation
- Buys gifts for the best man, bridesmaids and ushers
- Makes a speech at the reception, on behalf of himself and his
new wife
The Best Man
- Helps groom choose his outfits and those of the male attendants
- Arranges the "stag do"
- Meets at the ceremony venue, along with the ushers, to discuss
seating and parking arrangements
- Attends the wedding rehearsal
- Collects hire wear for himself and the groom
- Collects cards or messages from those who cannot attend wedding
- Makes sure that ushers have order of service sheets and
buttonholes
- Helps the groom dress on the morning of the wedding and makes
sure he gets to the church on time
- On behalf of the groom, discreetly pays the church fees, tips
and bellringers' fees
- Produces the rings when required and gives them to the groom or
the officiate
- Escorts the chief bridesmaid to the signing of the register (he
is usually a witness)
- Checks arrangements with the ushers that all guests have
transport to the reception
- In the absence of a toastmaster or master of ceremonies,
announces events (for example, calling for the first speech, the
cutting of the cake and the departure of the bride and groom)
- Makes a speech and reads out messages
- Decorates the "going away" car
- Helps transport the wedding gifts from the reception to a safe
place
- After the wedding, returns groom's hire wear if necessary
Chief Bridesmaid
- Helps the bride choose her outfit and her attendants' outfits
- Helps the bride keep her weddings lists up-to-date
- Organises the "hen do"
- Attends the rehearsal
- Helps arrange and supervise a timetable for the bride on the day
so she's not always watching the clock
- Helps the bride and her attendants get ready on the day
- At the ceremony venue, before the bride's entrance, checks
bride's attire and lines up the attendants
- Holds the bride's bouquet during the ceremony
- Escorted by the best man, attends the signing of the register
(she is usually a witness)
- Walks with the best man out of the ceremony
- Takes her place in the receiving line
- Places her bouquet, along with the bride's, by the wedding cake
- Helps serve the cake
- Helps the bride prepare for "going away", takes charge of the
wedding attire
- Along with the best man, helps transport the wedding gifts from
the reception to a safe place
Flower Girl (usually a younger
bridesmaid)
- Carries a basket of flowers or flower petals
- Joins in the procession with the other attendants
- Walks back down the aisle in front on the bride and groom
strewing flowers in their path (of course, you need to check with
the venue beforehand that this is acceptable)
Ushers
- Before the wedding day, meet with the best man to work out
duties
- Plan parking arrangements and get to know where the nearest
toilets are
- Collect order of service sheets from the bride or best man
- Provide umbrellas in case of rain
- Arrive first at the ceremony venue
- Organise parking
- Ensure that the approach is clear for the bride's arrival
- Greet guests and distribute buttonholes, order of service sheets
and hymnbooks (at a formal wedding, the ushers have a list of guests
so that close family and relatives are escorted to the front seats)
- Make sure all guests switch off mobile phones
- Explain situation regarding flash photography
- Escort the bride's mother and elderly guests to their seats
- Provide guard of honour
- Help photographer/videographer organise people for group shots
- During photography, have a picnic hamper available with cool
drinks and fold-up chairs for elderly guests
- Help best man organise transport for the guests to the reception
- To prevent a long queue arrange for a few guests at a time to go
along the receiving line
- Be responsible for a few tables each at the reception to check
on a regular basis that everyone is happy
- Make sure all guests are seated for the speeches
- Greet evening guests
- Get guests applauding during bride and groom's first dance, and
then get everyone up and dancing
- Line up guests when bride and groom leave
Bride's Mother
- Arranges press announcements
- Compiles the guest list in consultation with the groom's family
- Sends out invitations and keeps a note of replies
- Looks after gift list and makes arrangements to display the
presents
- Makes a list of the guests for the ushers
- In the absence of the bride's father she may give the bride away
- Attends the signing of the register
- Unless bride and groom decide otherwise, acts as hostess on the
day
- Leaves the church on the arm of the groom's father
- She is the first in the receiving line
- Sends cake to those unable to attend the wedding
Bride's Father
- Attends the wedding rehearsal
- Travels with his daughter to the ceremony
- Escorts the bride down the aisle
- Gives the bride away
- Attends the signing of the register
- Escorts the groom's mother from the church
- Stands alongside his wife in the receiving line
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